Should you tell your friend that you are in love with her?

If you love her you love her... theres nothing that she can do to make that change. How about you tell her you like her, then tell her you love her after she gets use to knowing that you \"like\" her. This will just help her deal with it if she was not expecting it or didnt really thiink you did. its just a safe thing to never rush anything with a girl, cause when we want to be we can be big bitch's... just cause a guy called us babe, or hun to early in the relationship (meaning like 20 mins after they asked)... but if she loves or likes you back, she shouldnt really care..

Telling a Friend You Love Her

Here is advice from WikiAnswers Contributors:

• What are you waiting for? You have to tell her. Don't let her get away. You will regret it someday. Just rememeber, you risk more by not risking anything at all.

• Honesty works best, of course. But saying "I love you" for the first time can be a huge leap and might come as shocking. Maybe it would just be a good idea not to tell her directly that you love her but drop very obvious hints in that direction. Send flowers or chocolates (or something really personally romantic) with a nice flattering note on it and be sure to include your name and await her reaction. That way talking might go a lot easier.

• No doubt about it: you should tell her. Always be honest. Having a romantic relationship with someone who is also your friend is a wonderful thing. If you lose her as a friend at least you would have tried.

• The problem with telling your best friend you love them is that it could damage the friendship. On the other hand, not knowing is even worse. If this person is truly your friend then the friendship will stay intact even if its temporarily akward.

• If you were going to die soon what would you do?

• I am a female. Don't send chocolates or flowers. Sit down and have a serious talk with her, pour your heart out. The worst thing that could happen is she doesn't feel the same way. So what, you might still be friends. My best friend of 10 years told me in high school he was in love with me and didn't wreck the friendship in any way. It's four years later and I still love him more than anyone in the world. Trust me, girls don't cross the line of friendship on their own because they are scared of being rejected and losing a friend at the same time. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life saying "what if?" I don't think so; just tell her.

• You should go for it. You should not expect her to see the signs to know that you are interested. Tell her. It's better to know than wonder. And remember that she might not be there forever.

• As I see it, you have two options, depending on (1) how important your platonic friendship is with this girl and (2) whether or not you are capable of maintaining that friendship and simultaneously moving on. In all likelihood, this girl already knows how you feel, and although she doesn't feel the same way, she really appreciates your friendship. Saying something to her will undoubtedly create an uncomfortable situation between you. If you value your friendship, and would like to continue it, you should stay friends but MOVE ON. Key words here: move on. But, if you're going to be attracted to her no matter what, and if you already know you're incapable of maintaining a purely platonic relationship with this girl, you should just tell her how you feel. If she rejects you, you've lost nothing. One other thing to keep in mind: spending a lot of time with this girl (walking her to class, talking on the phone) may intimidate other girls who are interested in you. Don't shoot yourself in the foot pining away for a girl you can't have.

• I know everyone above says to tell her, but telling the girl in my situation ruined everything. Although I had known this particular girl for a month in college and were good acquantances, I was nuts about her. So I flat out told her how I felt and would always tell her about my feelings. I had hoped that if she knew that I really sincerely loved her, she'd appreciate me and maybe eventually change her feelings. However, all that did was make her distant towards me. Yeah, we'd still be friends and hang out, but she would never show any form of affection (affection that friends of the opposite sex show each other that is) and would just brush me off at every corner. To make a huge story short, things just got worse and worse between us and we completely stopped talking altogether. The good thing is, I got over her. If I see her now, I feel absolutely nothing, which is a good thing I guess. So like some people say above, move on.

• I think you should tell her. The only negative thing she can do is try to put distance between you two, and you can easily put a stop to that by letting her know that she is important to you and that you won't let her just walk away. Whatever you decide to do, good luck and don't let your feelings for her go down without a fight.

• You really do have nothing to lose. Interest often evolves one-sided in friendships. Even if she doesn't feel the same way, if you two can overcome the intial awkwardness (however long that may be), ultimately it will bind your friendship to be stronger.

• It's a no-brainer. Tell her how you feel about her NOW. The platonic friendship is over, anyway, now that you're head over heels in love with her. And you're just straining things between you and her by hiding something this big. The question to ask is, HOW do you tell her how you feel? This depends entirely on the individual and the situation. Options range from a coy "I've started to develop feelings to you" to middle-of-the-road "I really care a lot about you" to the ultimate, "I love you." I've known my friend since I was fifteen (I'm thirty now). I started having feelings for her about three months ago. The pain of hiding my feelings was so stressful that at times it even manifested itself as physical discomfort. Yesterday I had enough. I couldn't talk to her the same, it was so hard to think of anything to say other than how I felt about her. So I told her. I now feel as if a great weight had been lifted off me. What a relief. And her reaction? She's acting as if nothing had happened, and that's fine with me. The bottom line is that she's still talking to me and that we're still friends. I wasn't asking her for anything, I was just telling her how I felt.

• Here's a sneaky technique. First, be real nice to her go out have lots of fun make sure that you give her sublte hints (being touchy-feely and all). Then slowly pull away from her day by day. She will confront you about being distant. Try to deny why you are being distant, and then drop the bomb on her. Yes, tell her that you can't be friends with her any more because you have been hiding your feelings for her. If she says she cannot be with you, she will surely be thinking of you and the many fun you'll had together. Sometimes you have to play mind games but the point is the ball will be in your court.

• I will go against the tide and tell you not to tell her that you are in love with her. I have had guy friends do that in the past and I do one of two things. I either 1) ignore the fact that he confessed his love to me in order to continue our friendship or 2) end the friendship. The feelings have to be mutual. If she has not given you any signs that she likes you back, then you might be "shooting yourself on the foot" and not only not get the reponse you wanted but lose her friendship. Trust me, if she likes you, you will know.

• Keep in mind that she MAY get away. And if she does it does NOT have to be the end of the world.

• True love in you if understood by the other need not be openly 'told'! If it is not understood there is no point in telling to your disappointment. If the true love is there on both sides, it will develop its own dynamics of expression which is spontaneous, silent and sacred.

• What would you do for love? Without risk you will not experience anything. As long as you plant that seed it will grow. Always remain a friend to her because thats whats most important to her. It's better to let her know rather than not at all. But don't tell her that your in love with her just tell her you have feelings. Do what your heart feels. It doesn't get easier every time you tell someone how you feel (for guys at least). You have nothing to lose but everything to gain! If she is a friend she will continue to be one.
• I have been in love with one of my friends for many years now. I still haven't been man enough to just open up and tell her how i feel. Over the last year or so i've been noticing my love for this girl affect me in many ways. Recently i've been getting sick with no reason and my doctor is stumped. I'm on different medicines for anxiety and physical problems. I can't believe that i've let something like this take complete control of me. I've come to the conclusion to tell her and, regardless of the answer, deal with it. So never bottle up emotions like these because they can literally destroy your life. Don't wait and miss the chance altogether. Like i've seen written above, if she really values your friendship, she, or he, is not going to let something like this ruin a friendship.
• Don't tell her you love her, show her you love here. Conduct yourself in such a way towards her that you make it as easy as possible for her to fall in love with you. Make her ask the question 'do you love me?' Do things for her that required alot of your time to make happen.

First answer by anonymous. Last edit by Lizybabe. Contributor trust: 3 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 369 [recommend question]